In a rare blend of extreme nerdism and intense gridiron action, The Foosball Wizard is proud to bring to you the NFL Head Coach Advanced Dungeons & Dragons Alignment Chart, inspired by the SEC Coach Alignment Chart at www.everdayshouldbesaturday.com! If you notice how incredibly nerdy you are while reading this, roll a d20 and try to make a saving throw against a future of unending virginity and pepperoni hot pockets.

Can you spot the common thread between the two charts? HINT: It’s easy.

Click on the Image for a description of AD&D Alignments

Click on the Image for a description of AD&D Alignments

 
A snack is delivered to the New England Patriots' Training Camp

A snack is delivered to the New England Patriots' Training Camp

Unfortunately, the Foosball Wizard has been busy rounding up live kittens for Bill Belichick to devour and unable to write blog entries. Although the Foosball Wizard absolutely loathes Darth Belichick, the Foosball Wizard is living below the poverty line and must take any opportunity to improve his bottom line. Belichick typically eviscerates and consumes 50 live, screaming, innocent kittens per day during training camp and it is a huge contract to land. The Foosball Wizard Grocery Store & Cockfighting Arena ™ will be able to stay open at least two more months on this contract alone!

Don't touch those kittens, Belichick. They're MINE.

Don't touch those kittens, Belichick. They're MINE.

However, the Wizard took a break from hunting down these elusive and clever creatures to chime in on the Brian Cushing situation. The situation I speak of is, of course, the fact that he resembles Sloth from Goonies. Due to this, the AP decided to give voters a chance to pick a less horrific rookie of the year. After the ballot was recast, Brian Cushing still won Defensive Rookie of the Year honors.  One anonymous AP reporter was quoted as saying “Jack Lambert won Defensive Rookie of the Year and children screamed whenever they saw his face. I didn’t feel it was ethical to take the award away from Cushing.”

Bill Belichick was unavailable to comment, as his mouth was full of sweet, succulent kittens delivered by a swank new eatery in Bed-Stuy.

AP Photo/David J. Philip

AP Photo/David J. Philip

 

Your anger with Woody Johnson makes you strong.

Your anger with Woody Johnson makes you strong.

“Always two, there are. No more, no less. A master, and an apprentice.” –Yoda

Tampa Bay Rays coach Joe Maddon has received a gift full of malevolent portent from famous Sith Lord and New England Patriots head coach, Darth Sweatshirt.

Although the Foosball Wizard loathes everything Darth Sweatshirt, he has a rare moment of solidarity with him concerning his ugly, hacked up sweatshirts. Although some have made very accurate observations as to why Darth Sweatshirt may wear his trademark hoodie with the arms crudely hacked off halfway up, the Foosball Wizard agrees with conventional wisdom in that Bill Belichick is prominently displaying his middle finger, in passive-aggressive fashion, to league management. They tried to tell Darth Sweatshirt how to dress, so he dressed himself as disgustingly as he could while following the letter of the rules!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Joe Maddon has recently had his own fashion related struggle with MLB management, similar to Belichick’s. Evidently, Major League Baseball doesn’t think that Joe Maddon’s “Elmer Fudd” hat and hoodie are as swank as the Foosball Wizard does. Darth Sweatshirt, in a rare show of almost human emotion, sent an official Sith sweatshirt, embroidered with Maddon’s initials, in what may even be an instance of empathy!

Eric Mangini: FATHER!!!! THERE IS STILL GOOD IN YOU!!!! I CAN SENSE IT!!!!!

Bill Belichick: *HACKS OFF MANGINI’S ARM*

Google Tracking SECRETS


(cas:72) Google Analyticator was unable to authenticate you with Google using the Auth Token you pasted into the input box on the previous step.

This could mean either you pasted the token wrong, or the time/date on your server is wrong, or an SSL issue preventing Google from Authenticating.

Try Deauthorizing & Resetting Google Analyticator.

Tech Info 400:Error fetching OAuth2 access token, message: 'invalid_grant'
Unique
Visitors
Powered By Google Analytics
© 2010 THE FOOSBALL WIZARD Suffusion theme by Sayontan Sinha