Sep 292010
 

They say a ship screams before she sinks. Jack Del Rio and Tom Coughlin definitely scream.

They say a ship screams before she sinks. Jack Del Rio and Tom Coughlin definitely scream.

Titans 29 Giants 10 – The ship is sinking as the crew mutinies in New York. The Tom Coughlin watch begins in earnest. No such watch will start in Tennessee, where Jeff Fisher is firmly entrenched. Even if Vince Young regresses, the Titans will still have Chris Johnson to fall back on. The only question is this: at what point will all those carries start to wear on Johnson?

Cincinnatti 20 Carolina 7 – Cincinnatti overachieved last year. The Bengals defense is better than I have given it credit for, but the offense still is what it is. Carson Palmer has never been the same player he was before the elbow injury and it looks like he may never be the same player again. Carolina is rebuilding and has correctly started the Jimmy Claussen era, but John Fox needs to worry a little bit if he will be there to see it through to the end. The Carolina running game has regressed, but it’s hard to run when you have such a weak passing offense and a group of receivers who could be replaced by uniforms filled with straw (once you get past Steve Smith.)

Pittsburgh 38 Tampa Bay 13 – Wow, watch out for the Pittsburgh Steelers when Roethlisberger comes back. If Ben comes back ready to play at the same level he always does there’s no reason Pittsburgh shouldn’t be considered the favorites in the AFC. Tampa Bay is still in the process of rebuilding, but they have to be heartened by the development of Josh Freeman thus far. LeGarrett Blount is a big son of a bitch who may be a powerful runner in the future. The dented wheels of the old Cadillac can only go so far.

New England 38 Buffalo 30 – A heartening effort by Buffalo, although New England isn’t what they used to be. That pass defense is awful with a capital “A.” How good would the Patriots have been if the past couple seasons if you replaced Tom Brady with an average QB? Is Bill Belichick such a genius if he doesn’t have a hall of fame QB all these years? I could possibly think of 4-5 defensive coordinators I would want to run my defense before Belichick nowadays. The release of Trent Edwards is an odd move by Buffalo, as he was a fairly cheap and solid option for a #2 QB. I wonder what was going on behind the scenes…

Baltimore 24 Cleveland 17 – The talent isn’t quite there for the Browns yet and Brian Daboll is possibly the worst offensive coordinator in the NFL, but this team is playing hard. Peyton Hillis ran like Brandon Jacobs used to against a tough Ravens defense. I’m still a little wary of Joe Flacco even though I have an ongoing lovefest with his skill set. Did anyone doubt that Anquan Boldin would be this good in Baltimore? The guy is a hell of a player. Todd Heap hasn’t been the receiving threat he was early in his career for years due to declining speed, but the guy is still a heck of a TE.

The Vikings better hope that the Great Pumpkin rises from the Pumpkin Patch.

The Vikings better hope that the Great Pumpkin rises from the Pumpkin Patch.

Minnesota 24 Detroit 10 – Well, at least Minnesota can still beat the Lions when they’re starting their second string QB. Detroit is on an uptrend while Minnesota is on a downtrend. Jahvid Best’s toe injury is a big worry. Toe injuries seem like nothing but they can significantly limit a player’s ability to perform. Remember: Johnathon Ogden retired due to a toe injury that wouldn’t go away and Antonio Gates’ ’08 season was significantly hampered by a toe injury. Brett Favre has reverted to his pumpkin self again. AP proved he is still a monster. I knew it as soon as I saw the preaseason game where he turned back into the field and ran over David Barrett for a few extra yards instead of going out of bounds. High character guy too.

Atlanta 27 New Orleans 24 – Atlanta looked pretty terrible in week one but they’re clicking now. New Orleans will rebound, they are still a great and talented team. Losing Reggie Bush will hurt their offensive options but with people like Sean Payton and Drew Brees at the helm they will adjust. Look for more touches for Lance Moore. Also, DEAR GARRET HARTLEY: AT LEAST YOU’RE NOT SCOTT NORWOOD.

Dallas 27 Houston 13 – Same old Texans. I am not liking Gary Kubiak as a coach lately. Even Dallas can get motivated when everyone is kicking dirt in their face. The challenge will be to keep this up. Both of these teams should be in the playoffs this year based off of their talent and if they fail heads will roll. Alarm for Cowboys: Jason Witten is banged up pretty bad, but is toughing it out. Alarm for Fantasy Football Players: Despite a sighting of famous pizza delivery man Roy Williams, don’t expect that kind of production from him on a weekly basis.

Kansas City 31 San Francisco 10 – I love that lunatic Mike Singletary, but this coaching staff isn’t getting the job done. The teams’ performance is very uneven. Romeo Crennel is doing a heck of a job with the Chiefs’ offense and Charlie Weis no longer has a gall bladder. Hey, has anyone seen Michael Crabtree lately? Me neither. The Chiefs will come back to earth soon but the fans have to love the progress this team is making. Dexter McCluster is electric. Chiefs fans deserve it: they are some of the best fans in the NFL.

Even DeAngelo Hall has friends.

Even DeAngelo Hall has friends.

St Louis 30 Washington 16 – The Rams are closer to being a winner than the Redskins are right now, as sad as that is. Without McNabb the Redskins would be in an even more sorry state. Sam Bradford is coming along much faster than expected but the Rams have to start thinking about the future at running back. Steven Jackson has a lot of tread on his tires, is injury prone and a little long in the tooth. Oh, and DeAngelo Hall, please close your mouth. You are a third tier cornerback who thinks way too much of himself.

Philadelphia 28 Jacksonville 3 – The biggest sinking ship in the NFL besides the New York Giants is Jacksonville. If it wasn’t for MJD Jaguars fans would pray to have the games blacked out every week. The Eagles are winning ugly when they aren’t playing Jacksonville, but with players like Michael Vick, Maclin and Jackson in that offense they will at least keep their fans entertained. Michael Vick is still not an accurate QB. What is it they say? “There’s two things you can’t teach a QB : arm strength and accuracy.” Important words to remember. Vick has arm strength, at least. The Eagles will get by as McNabb wasn’t the most accurate QB in the world either… a curiosity as Philadelphia runs perhaps the purest version of the West Coast Offense in the NFL.

Indianapolis 27 Denver 13 – It’s not fair to have to go up against Peyton Manning after the tragedy the Broncos endured this week. Perennially underappreciated Kyle Orton is getting the job done. He is somewhat akin to a poor man’s Chad Pennington with a greater ability to win the game on his own and a greater propensity for bad decisions. Peyton Manning has rightfully (IMO) panned the NFL’s decision to go to an 18 game schedule, mostly because he won’t have time to work with the undrafted free agents and castoffs Indianapolis likes to identify and work with in preseason, which will be shortened. I also think players undergo enough wear and tear in a 16 game format. We’ll break here for a reader question, since it is Denver related:

Anthony Roselle writes: “This isn’t exactly a question, but more of a topic of discussion. What do you make of teams that don’t have a clear cut #1 WR. Example Broncos, Bears, and Chargers. They don’t have a clear cut #1 WR. One week Naanee tears it up the next week nothing, similiar for Malcolm Floyd. Also who is the #1 for the Bronco’s Gaffney, Royal, or the rookie Thomas. Does it pay to start any of these WR’s from these teams. It seems like one week they’re hot, and the next week nothing.”

Some teams will have receivers who are targeted more regularly than others. Denver is not one of them. It is characteristic of the Josh McDaniels offense to spread the ball around a lot, and unless there’s a stud there like Brandon Marshall or Randy Moss targets will vary a lot from week to week. With the Bears, I think you can expect Johnny Knox to get consistent targets but the ball will be spread a bit, albeit to a lesser degree than the Broncos. With the Chargers, they throw the ball so much that all their receivers should have no difficulty getting sufficient targets each week. It’s hard to identify a “#1” for the Broncos, but Thomas has the most obvious physical skills for the role. Royal will remain a slot receiver. Floyd and Knox will tend to be solid starts every week.

Arizona 24 Oakland 23 – Both of these teams just aren’t that good and lack talent at the QB spot. I think they’ll both focus more on running as the season goes on, as that is where their strengths lie. Fitzgerald will continue to underperform as long as the Arizona QB situation fails to change and his injuries linger. Darren McFadden has finally arrived. If you’re in a fantasy league I would pick up Fitzgerald if I could do so cheaply, in case he turns it around. Just don’t give up much for him.

Seattle 27 San Diego 20 – Seattle is better than expected, and it’s great to see Leon Washington succeeding in Seattle. He doesn’t look as explosive as he did before that absolutely horrific leg fracture last year, but he’s still a game changer. The Jets were fools if they thought they could replace him with Joe “Vomitorium” McKnight. Couldn’t they have kept Chauncey Washington (Now lost to the Rams) on the roster instead of McKnight? San Diego continues to find ways to lose despite immense talent. That said, Seattle is a difficult place for San Diego to play since it’s very loud and they run an offense with a lot of long winded playcalling terminology. It’s a recipe for false start and delay of game disasters, and they contributed to the San Diego loss. The San Diego offense will continue to remain explosive with Rivers at the helm. If the Seattle offense can continue to get at least some production out of its receivers John Carlson could be a useful fantasy TE.

Well,"Wildcat" was written in a kind of obsolete vernacular... Wildcat.... Wild....cat......PEcHOooOoOoo....

Well,"Wildcat" was written in a kind of obsolete vernacular... Wildcat.... Wild....cat......PEcHOooOoOoo....

New York Jets 31 Miami 23 – Mark Sanchez is looking much more developed than Chad Henne despite having less experience as a starter. If I looked at them play and didn’t know anything about them I would assume Henne is the younger QB. Henne is bigger and has a stronger arm than Sanchez, but in all other facets of his game Sanchez is superior. The Jets pass defense was abused by Henne, Marshall and the Dolphins and Kyle Wilson, although talented, has been a liability in the secondary so far. The Jets passing defense was scary bad in this game. Opponents take advantage of Jim Leonhard’s size, Eric Smith’s coverage skills, Kyle Wilson’s lack of experience and on occasion Antonio Cromartie. They need Revis and Pace back. The Jets still may be the class of the AFC after Pittsburgh, but Matt Slauson is a gaping hole in the left side of their offensive line. Vladimir Ducasse is not ready to play in the NFL yet. Prepare for big Sanchez numbers when Santonio Holmes rejoins the offense, which will also mean more room for Dustin Keller. The Jets out wildcat’d the Dolphins, just as they said they would. The Dolphins are one of the few teams that run the wildcat in a sensible manner but it looks like defenses have finally caught on. Jason Allen is an absolute joke – an Antonio Cromartie without the coverage skills and without the hordes of illegitimate children.

Chicago 20 Green Bay 17 – Wow, who saw the 3-0 Bears coming? Certainly not me, although I took the Bears in this matchup with the spread. Cutler still makes some god awful decisions and the offensive line is poor, but the run defense is surprisingly stout despite the fact that Tommie Harris is a liability nowadays. The Bears might continue to surprise this year, but they are still a borderline wild card team. The number of penalties the Packers accrued on Monday night was downright embarassing and lost them the game, but they will rebound. Aaron Rodgers is a magnificent QB and Jermichael Finley is in the top tier of NFL tight ends.


 
Nicola Tesla deftly transfers your "Electronic Letters" across dimensions to their intended recipients.

Nicola Tesla deftly transfers your "Electronic Letters" across dimensions to their intended recipients.

Just like another famous wizard, sometimes people journey down colorful brick roads seeking my assistance. However, since the dawn of the “Internet” such barbaric methods of seeking supplication have been replaced by the convenience of “The Electronic Letter Service,” co-invented by Nicola Tesla and Al Gore in the late 20th century. I now take time out from my work sealing the dimensional rift that unfortunately allowed Richard Nixon, Lady Gaga and Bill Belichick into our dimension to dispense wisdom to a noble pilgrim named Anthony Roselle, from the Garden State. All seekers are rewarded with my wisdom… and a complementary cockatrice and alpaca meat empañada from the Foosball Wizard Bodega in Bed-Stuy (Catering is available for parties of 20 or more.)

Anthony writes:

In my other league someone dropped Kevin Kolb, would you recommend picking him up. Schaub is my QB and I don’t have a back up. I would have to give up my WR6 Devin Hester for him. I think it is a good idea, and stash him on the bench.

Also, someone dropped Zach Miller and Owen Daniels. Chris Cooley is my TE1, I would have to drop my TE2 John Carlson. Do you think it’s worth dropping Carlson for Miller or Daniels?

You would not believe how difficult these things are to hunt and grind into empañada meat.

You would not believe how difficult these things are to hunt and grind into empañada meat.

Although I seem to be the only person who wasn’t high on Kevin Kolb he looked even more awful and lost than I expected in week one.  If you don’t have a backup QB right now, I would pick Kolb up because Reid and the Eagles tend to be stubborn about their starting QB and I think he will be back in the lineup unless Vick absolutely lights it up or he fails to pass a concussion test. It is a gamble, but given your need at the position and the fact that you will only be giving up Devin Hester I think it is worth it. He could be a solid #2 QB for a fantasy team assuming he keeps his job. I would only keep Hester if you are thin at WR or there is not great depth at WR in your free agent pool. If players like Laurent Robinson, Mike Williams (SEA), Mario Manningham or Cris Chambers are available as free agents dumping Hester is a no-brainer here.

Chris Cooley is a decent #1 TE and the starter on two thirds of my fantasy teams this season. I tend to only carry one TE, as I feel it’s better to keep an extra RB, WR or QB. I like Carlson, but I don’t hold out a lot of hope for the Seattle offense this year. I think he is going to draw a lot of attention due to the fact that Seattle WRs don’t scare anyone. I’m pretty sure they replaced one of Deion Branch’s feet with a skateboard last year. Actually, both feet may be skateboards by this time. I would drop Carlson if you want to pick up Daniels, who can put up some nice numbers at TE if he has recovered from offseason knee surgery. However, you may wish to consider dropping Carlson for for Kevin Kolb and keeping Hester on your roster. This last option is the one I would take, all other things being equal. However, depending on the availability of WRs and QBs in your league keeping a second TE might not be such a bad idea.

If any of you are old fashioned and wish to converse with the Wizard on matters concerning fantasy football, kindly click on Herman Edwards face on the right of your screen and submit your question via Nicola Tesla’s miraculous invention. If not, feel free to follow the yellow brick road like a Philistine.

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