If Ted Ginn Jr. didn’t become a football player he could’ve made a great living doing any job that didn’t require him to hold precious, fragile objects.

In honor of Ted Ginn Jr. keeping up the good fight, the Foosball Wizard is proud to present his top five list of receivers he would not throw babies to. That is, unless, he wanted to create a pile of dead and injured babies. Basically, unless it was Friday, he wouldn’t throw babies at these guys.

Do not leave your baby unattended with these wide receivers.

Do not leave your baby unattended with these wide receivers.

1) Terrell Owens – This guy has been dropping balls at a high rate for years despite being touted as the game’s top receiver (along with Randy Moss). Yes, Terrell Owens was a game breaking athlete, but he’s always had crappy hands.  Get your stale popcorn ready to watch this washed up superstar struggle to compete wherever he lands this season.

2) Ted Ginn Jr. – We’ll give Teddy the #2 slot since he was drafted so high. The subject line isn’t an untruth – The Foosball Wizard literally couldn’t stop laughing when the Dolphins wasted their pick on this loser. In addition to failing to catch the football, he plays so soft that he can be muscled out of plays without having the chance to make a drop or make a play after a miraculous reception.

3) Braylon Edwards – Braylon was elevated from #4 to #3 solely for the ball that hit him in the face that should have been a one gazillion yard touchdown for the Jets in 2009. Oh, and he drops balls all the time. Edwards’ father sums it up for us: “Am I worried about him getting a reputation for dropping the football?” Stan Edwards asked. “No. Because let’s be honest — he’s earned it.”

KABONG.

KABONG.

4) Troy Williamson – Another high draft pick with blazing speed who can’t hold on to the ball. There was talk in Minnesota that he would come around after catching 13,000 practice balls and getting laser correction on a weak eye, but it did nothing to improve his high rate of drops. Perhaps if they installed laser beams and computers on the football they could guide themselves into the wedge between Williamson’s helmet and facemask, making him a viable receiver.

5) Mario Manningham – Sometimes when I was watching a Giants game last season I wasn’t sure if it was football or some sort of slapstick comedy act. Then I noticed that there were no zany sound effects during any of Manningham’s first 3 to 4 game swinging blunders and that he actually intended to entertain me by making great football plays. Unfortunately, there were many more clownish blunders than football excellence. It was reminiscent of Oakland.

Honorable Mentions: Derek Hagan (this guy drops balls like they were flaming suitcases filled with black powder), Darrius Heyward-Bey (Who does a marvelous job dropping a high percentage of the few balls thrown his way), and budding egomaniac Dwayne Bowe.

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