Your anger with Woody Johnson makes you strong.

Your anger with Woody Johnson makes you strong.

“Always two, there are. No more, no less. A master, and an apprentice.” –Yoda

Tampa Bay Rays coach Joe Maddon has received a gift full of malevolent portent from famous Sith Lord and New England Patriots head coach, Darth Sweatshirt.

Although the Foosball Wizard loathes everything Darth Sweatshirt, he has a rare moment of solidarity with him concerning his ugly, hacked up sweatshirts. Although some have made very accurate observations as to why Darth Sweatshirt may wear his trademark hoodie with the arms crudely hacked off halfway up, the Foosball Wizard agrees with conventional wisdom in that Bill Belichick is prominently displaying his middle finger, in passive-aggressive fashion, to league management. They tried to tell Darth Sweatshirt how to dress, so he dressed himself as disgustingly as he could while following the letter of the rules!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Joe Maddon has recently had his own fashion related struggle with MLB management, similar to Belichick’s. Evidently, Major League Baseball doesn’t think that Joe Maddon’s “Elmer Fudd” hat and hoodie are as swank as the Foosball Wizard does. Darth Sweatshirt, in a rare show of almost human emotion, sent an official Sith sweatshirt, embroidered with Maddon’s initials, in what may even be an instance of empathy!

Eric Mangini: FATHER!!!! THERE IS STILL GOOD IN YOU!!!! I CAN SENSE IT!!!!!

Bill Belichick: *HACKS OFF MANGINI’S ARM*

 
McDaniels is a much snappier dresser than Bill Belichick.

McDaniels is a much snappier dresser than Bill Belichick.

According to the Denver post, Josh McDaniels and Tim Tebow believe this is the beginning of a beautiful relationship.

Colorado also has legislation in the works that may make it the first state in the union to allow marriage between coaches and quarterbacks, a practice that until now has only been allowed in American Samoa.

“Jeff is a great coach to work with,” said Tebow, “His football acumen, his dedication to the game, his passion and his huge, perfectly rounded breasts are unparalleled in the NFL. It is a privilege to be able to work with him.”

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