According to the Associated Press, the Jets will be switching Vernon Gholston back to his natural position of defensive end.

Amateur football scout, Sherlock Holmes, had this to say about Gholston’s position switch: “There is but one step from the grotesque to the horrible.”

I queried Mr. Holmes as to whether or not he believed that Gholston was just unable to make the adjustment to linebacker and might perform better at his position from his college days, defensive end. Is it possible that Gholston’s poor performance is due to the fact that he’s just a poor fit at linebacker? ¬†Holmes laughed, and told me “Perhaps, when a man has special knowledge and special powers like my own, it rather encourages him to seek a complex explanation when a simpler one is at hand.” Holmes is a wise man, I do have special knowledge and powers. I will defer to Mr. Holmes on this issue.

Mike Tannenbaum still believes that Gholston has a future with the team, either as a defensive end or in another position. “We believe that Vernon has a great future with our team as a doorstop if things don’t work out for him at defensive end. If he can put on another twenty to thirty pounds before camp, we can’t see any door in the NFL failing to be secured by his bulk. The only struggle for him will be getting down the mental concepts of the position – which are myriad and complicated.”

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James "Professor" Moriarty and his agent, Drew Rosenhaus, at this morning's press conference.

James "Professor" Moriarty and his agent, Drew Rosenhaus, at this morning's press conference.

According to Tim Graham on ESPN the Bills have denied even receiving a call from the Steelers indicating a desire to trade them famous stunt motorcyclist and lover, Ben Roethlisberger. The speculation is that Big Ben is so toxic to football teams at this point that even a young, talented QB with a low salary, which is what Roethlisberger would be to any team who picked him up, is undesirable.

The Bills proved they had no interest in Roethlisberger early this morning when they hosted a press conference with their latest acquisition and his agent, Drew Rosenhaus. Professor Moriarty, recently released from the holodeck on the Enterprise, was tabbed to compete with Trent Edwards and Brian Brohm for the Bills’ starting QB position in 2010. Buddy Nix, the Bills’ GM, was quoted as saying “‘The Professor’ is a cerebral, gutsy quarterback who comes without the baggage and liability of signing a quarterback like Ben Roethlisberger, Ryan Leaf or Art Schlicter. Moriarty’s high, domed forehead is a sign of a prodigious intellect.”

However, not everyone shares Nix’s opinion of Moriarty. Amateur scout, Sherlock Holmes is quoted as saying “For years past I have continually been conscious of some power behind the malefactor, some deep organizing power which forever stands in the way of the law, and throws its shield over the wrong-doer. Again and again in cases of the most varying sorts — forgery cases, robberies, murders — I have felt the presence of this force, and I have deduced its action in many of those undiscovered crimes in which I have not been personally consulted. For years I have endeavored to break through the veil which shrouded it, and at last the time came when I seized my thread and followed it, until it led me, after a thousand cunning windings, to quarterback James Moriarty of football celebrity.”

Holmes also added that “Moriarty’s elongated delivery and poor footwork will make it hard for him to succeed at the NFL level.”

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