I AM JUST YOUR #2 QUARTERBACK
Mar 272012
Aug 132011
Plax, is that a loaded Glock in your waistband, or are you just happy to see me?
Interesting interview with Plaxico Burress expounded on by Manish Mehta.
It’s hard to tell what to think about Burress after reading this article. You’d think maybe he was humbled when he mentions being in a cell 16-17 hours day, doing manual labor and crying in prison. Then you read something like this:
““I just have that confidence and belief in myself that I’m going to go out there and play at a high level,” Burress said. “Then, everybody is going to go back to scratching their head again. How does he do it? How did he not practice and do it? He’s been away for two years… How does he do it?””
Maybe that sprained ankle will let him know that it’s going to take a little practice to even be a shadow of what he once was when he was a younger receiver.
““I don’t take no sh– from nobody,” Burress said about his perceived public image. “You got earn my respect as a person. You got love for me. I got love for you.””
Sorry, Plaxico. I think you’ve got to earn everyone’s respect as a person again… and as a player.
Aug 172010
An Alpaca Reacts to Victor Cruz's Third Touchdown
Jets defensive backs - It looked like they missed Darrelle Revis, and I didn’t notice Steve Smith on the field for the Giants at all. Antonio Cromartie looked decent in coverage but his poor tackling showed up on the 50+ yard pass to Ahmad Bradshaw. Undrafted free agent Victor Cruz lit up the Jets defense, and looks like a miniature Marques Colston thanks to his excellent body control.
Kellen Clemens - was given a long look during the game, possibly to generate interest in him as trade bait. Although he looked a lot better than Kevin O’Connell he will be due too much money to keep on as a third string quarterback behind Mark Brunell.
Eli Manning - almost got his head knocked off and covered the beautiful new stadium in blood. Fortunately, it was just a flesh wound.
LaDainian Tomlinson - showed that he still has some quickness left on a touchdown run that was called back. He’s not as amazingly quick a cutter as he was when he was young, but he is still an incredibly fundamentally sound runner and will make a nice addition to the Jets’ backfield this year.
Brandon Jacobs – seemed to be running with authority and not pathetically dancing around like he did last year. Giants fans should hope he keeps this up.
Rhett Bomar - was very impressive in mop up duty, fitting a couple passes into tight spaces, being cool under pressure in the pocket, and making a heady scramble near the end of the game.
Santonio Holmes - put some impressive moves on the Giants’ second stringers.
Apr 262010
According to the Associated Press, the Jets will be switching Vernon Gholston back to his natural position of defensive end.
Amateur football scout, Sherlock Holmes, had this to say about Gholston’s position switch: “There is but one step from the grotesque to the horrible.”
I queried Mr. Holmes as to whether or not he believed that Gholston was just unable to make the adjustment to linebacker and might perform better at his position from his college days, defensive end. Is it possible that Gholston’s poor performance is due to the fact that he’s just a poor fit at linebacker? Holmes laughed, and told me “Perhaps, when a man has special knowledge and special powers like my own, it rather encourages him to seek a complex explanation when a simpler one is at hand.” Holmes is a wise man, I do have special knowledge and powers. I will defer to Mr. Holmes on this issue.
Mike Tannenbaum still believes that Gholston has a future with the team, either as a defensive end or in another position. “We believe that Vernon has a great future with our team as a doorstop if things don’t work out for him at defensive end. If he can put on another twenty to thirty pounds before camp, we can’t see any door in the NFL failing to be secured by his bulk. The only struggle for him will be getting down the mental concepts of the position – which are myriad and complicated.”
Vintage, handmade Vernon Gholston doorstops are now available for one million dollars plus incentives!
Now available at etsy.com. We guarantee you will be unsatisfied with your investment or your money back!
Apr 252010
Lightning Hopkins contacted the Foosball Wizard via email and since the Foosball Wizard is a fan of the blues, he agreed to post a special song Lightnin’ wrote for Leon Washington.
Asked about how he felt about the deal, Lightning Hopkins said “Cold ground was my bed last night, rocks was my pillow too. I woke up this morning, I’m wondering, what in the world am I gonna do?”
John Conner in action in Kentucky.
As part of the Leon Washington trade, the Jets traded up to the 5th round to snag famous enemy of Skynet, John Conner, who fell to the 5th round due to concerns about his speed and fears that his career might be shortened by homocidal robots from the future. He was unable to attend the scouting combine in Indianapolis due to the fact that he was “living off the grid.”
Leon Washington was quoted as saying “Robots from the future and shit? Thank you very much, I’ll be in Seattle sippin’ coffee.” To replace Washington, the Jets drafted Joe McKnight, similar to Leon Washington in every way except with a greater tolerance for the possibility of death at the hands of murderous automatons.
