Unlike Sex Panther, The Jets Offense Only Works 3% of the Time.

Unlike Sex Panther, The Jets Offense Only Works 3% of the Time.

If this works well, I might make this a feature for all games I watch this season. When it’s not a Jets game, I’ll just toss something else in there besides Tebow.

The Good:

Kenrick Ellis – Wow, it’s like night and day looking at Ellis last year and this year. He had a batted pass and disrupted plays all night. I wasn’t feeling too warm about Ellis last year, but he looked good last week and he looked great this week.

LaRon Landry – Another big hit on a WR. Another interception. This guy is making plays and (as everyone else says) as long as he stays healthy he’s going to be a force this season.

Austin Howard – I don’t know if I’d gush about him as much as Collinsworth did, but he definitely held his own out there tonight. If all you’ve done is watch Wayne Hunter tape the past few weeks, Howard looked like a Hall of Famer.

THE BAD:

Wayne HunterEven against the second stringers, he still looked terrible. I watched Hunter get beaten by some second string clown tonight. He’ll probably be mugged by a 2nd grader on his way to his car tonight. Everyone beats up on Wayne Hunter.

The Jets TEs: They didn’t play bad. They’re just all injured. Cumberland was already out with a concussion, Keller hurt his hamstring and Josh Baker hurt his knee. The only healthy TEs are now Epps (Who was almost assuredly getting cut, and still might depending on how badly injured the Jets’ TEs are) and Hayden Smith, who’s only been playing football a few months.

Second String OLThey only got worse when Wayne Hunter joined their ranks. Ducasse and Schlauderhaf don’t inspire any confidence as reserves, and there is still no true backup at center. Remember what happened when Nick Mangold was out last year? The entire offensive line fell apart. Colin Baxter, who stepped in for Mangold last year, would probably improve this group.

The TebowHe made a beautiful throw on his final drive and had a couple nifty Tebow Magic Run moments, but there was a lot of ugly too. I can’t remember the last time I saw such a mobile quarterback that was so terrible at throwing on the run. It seems to mostly be mechanical issues that hurts him there. He likes to throw across his body, Brett Favre style, without even setting his feet. Brett Favre can get away with that, but Tebow can’t. After a nice run the crowd cheered and chanted Tebow’s name, but it took only a minute or two before Tebow was getting booed again.

That other QB, Sanchez? Made one or two bad throws, but he looks like he’s at least improved a little.

That Other Team That Was On the FieldLuke Kuechly is the real deal. Chris Gamble did not look impressive against Stephen Hill, but maybe he’s dogging it a little in the preseason. Derek Anderson is still awful. Cam Newton is pretty amazing. I was wrong to ever doubt him.

 
Jimmy Claussen arrives in Charlotte, NC from his secret headquarters in the polar ice cap.

Jimmy Claussen arrives in Charlotte, NC from his secret headquarters in the polar ice cap.

Do you buy the Todd McShay Claussen hate?

The Panthers might not either, considering they drafted Claussen and that he, according to Pat Yasinkas at ESPN, couldn’t be more humble and amiable with his teammates.

Among rookie quarterbacks, Claussen will probably be the only one of any fantasy value this season.

In related news, Tim Tebow arrived in camp at Denver bathed in golden light and accompanied by a chorus of angels.

I saw in the night visions, and, behold, one like the Son of man came with the clouds of heaven, and came to the Ancient of days, and they brought him near before him. And there was given him dominion, and glory, and a kingdom, that all people, nations, and languages, should serve him: his dominion is an everlasting dominion, which shall not pass away, and his kingdom that which shall not be destroyed. -Daniel 7:13-14

I saw in the night visions, and, behold, one like the Son of man came with the clouds of heaven, and came to the Ancient of days, and they brought him near before him. And there was given him dominion, and glory, and a kingdom, that all people, nations, and languages, should serve him: his dominion is an everlasting dominion, which shall not pass away, and his kingdom that which shall not be destroyed. -Daniel 7:13-14

 
The Claussen family crest, photographed at their lavish estate, "Nightingale Nook."

The Claussen family crest, photographed at their lavish estate, "Nightingale Nook."

Jimmy Claussen has finally been drafted by the Carolina Panthers with the 16th pick in the 2nd round, ending a drop more precipitous than Aaron Rodgers’. I am shocked that he fell this far and can only assume that most of the NFL knows something that we don’t.

That said, this is an incredible gift for the Panthers who don’t have any particularly inspiring QBs on their roster. Claussen could see action sooner rather than later and the fact that he played in a pro-style offense will be a boon to him and the Panthers.

Vladimir Ducasse, a guard drafted by the Jets, may be be the official winner of the lengthily titled “Most Likely to be Confused With a Computer Generated Football Player Name from a Console Game” award.

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