You can really see the defense and the offense getting into it here. It was a little less than friendly.

On the upside, they seem to be in peak condition.

On the upside, they seem to be in peak condition.

 

I’ve selected the two best questions send to the Foosball Wizard for answering. Also, they were the only questions regarding football. The rest of the questions all wanted to know whether I wanted to buy Mexican codeine or Viagra, or perhaps claim a great deal of money in Iraq or Nigeria. Unfortunately, football is my area of expertise, not erectile dysfunction, so I will stick to what I know.


From:
Pats ain’t half bad

 

Why are we not overrun by donuts like we are plagued by deer? Their natural predator, Rex Ryan, keeps our ecosystem balanced.

Why are we not overrun by donuts like we are plagued by deer? Their natural predator, Rex Ryan, keeps our ecosystem balanced.

Message:
Foosball Wizard, what are your thoughts on the Patriots trade for
Albert Haynesworth? And more importantly who wins the pie eating
contest between Haynesworth and Rex when the Jets come to town.

It was a very savvy trade by the Patriots. Haynesworth restructured his contract and will be making (I believe) around $1.5 million this year with NO guaranteed money. Shaun Ellis will be making far more this year. That’s very little risk and a very high upside, as Haynesworth was one of the best DTs in the league before he went to Washington and turned into an expensive mound of hot dogs and melted ice cream. Haynesworth’s base salary goes up in the second year of the deal, if the Patriots decide to keep him, with a very modest roster and workout bonus due to him in 2012. It doesn’t get much more low risk than that. They gave up a fifth round pick, similar to the Jets’ deal for Santonio Holmes, and we know how that worked out for the Jets. Haynesworth could turn out to be a similar boon for the Patriots.

As for the pie, whenever eating sugary treats or running a 46 influenced defense is involved, always bet on Rex Ryan.

Washington felt the sting of a large bonus with Haynesworth, but the Patriots could feel safe signing Mushmouth to play DT for a restructured contract like that.

Washington felt the sting of a large bonus with Haynesworth, but the Patriots could feel safe signing Mushmouth to play DT for a restructured contract like that.

From:
The Contract Devil

Message:

Holdouts are going to be under more scrutiny then ever I think this
pre-season. With OTA’s missed from the lockout there are more injuries
happening left and right with players in camps now. Some players like
DeSean Jackson have reported to camp on the last possible day so they
get the year towards free agency. Others like Chris Johnson are
sitting out with the, “Pay me my money!” And my favorite Osi who is
upset that the Giants accepted his previous demands of a re-negotiated
front-loaded contract, now at the back end he claims to be underpaid.
With the CBA now in stone, do you think players are still going to
complain about how they are paid by comparison, clauses, and sitting
out fearing injury? And more so, teams not paying -this- year cause of
injury.

Unfortunately for the players, they will still be complaining. Football’s a violent sport, and their contracts are not fully guaranteed like a baseball player’s. They do have the recourse of demanding signing bonuses which are¬†guaranteed, but depending on the market, they might find a big signing bonus hard to get. Of course, a case like Umenyiora’s, where his contract was frontloaded, have no reason to be complaining. Chris Johnson is demanding an absurd amount of money for a running back right now, and I have the feeling the Titans will end up (perhaps unwisely) overpaying to keep him. On the other hand, Johnson is being savvy. He’s not the biggest running back in the world and they’ve worked him pretty hard. A running back’s life is short, and he better grab the money while the grabbing is good. The NFL treats old running backs like used up, lame racehorses: it takes them out back and shoots them. That being said, his astronomical demands are a bit much.

 

 

In a rare blend of extreme nerdism and intense gridiron action, The Foosball Wizard is proud to bring to you the NFL Head Coach Advanced Dungeons & Dragons Alignment Chart, inspired by the SEC Coach Alignment Chart at www.everdayshouldbesaturday.com! If you notice how incredibly nerdy you are while reading this, roll a d20 and try to make a saving throw against a future of unending virginity and pepperoni hot pockets.

Can you spot the common thread between the two charts? HINT: It’s easy.

Click on the Image for a description of AD&D Alignments

Click on the Image for a description of AD&D Alignments

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